It is a fact that no one is perfect and all people make mistakes. But, parents should be aware of the fact that in the eyes of their children, they are not only humans, but they also are guardians, creators and caretakers. In a specific way, parents are superheroes.
Psychologists explain that the behavior of the parents is crucial part of a child’s psyche. Children learn every possible step in their life from their parents and they watch, listen and remember how to deal with problems and their mistakes and how to behave in certain situations.
Psychologists advice you to pay special attention to the phrases you use while you talk to your child. These are the phrases which you should NEVER say to your child:
“Stop crying right now”
Children cry when they fall and they feel pain, but they also cry when they know that they are going to be punished. Crying is an emotion that comes out even if there is no reason to cry. The reason for that is because children don’t have full control over their emotions and psychologists explain that children have the right to express how they feel.
If you tell your child to stop crying, it only will suppress its emotions and keep everything inside and that is much worse.
“I’m disappointed in you”
This is usually said when the child already feels bad. You can be disappointed in everything in this world, but never in your own child because you are there to lead them on the right path. Guide them back when they do something wrong and teach them and explain then what was done wrong and why.
“You are worthless”
It may be the worst thing that a child can hear, especially when you’re its mental figure and they expect most of to be approved. In this way you’re putting the child on a journey that never ends to seek approval from the outside world. You’re letting them to believe that they have nothing instead of helping them. Instead of saying this, you can say ‘It is not your day, but you will do better the next time’, or ‘nobody is perfect’, or ‘you can do better’.
“You’re not (something) enough”
You should never say to your child “you’re not good enough” as on that way you will paint a restricted picture of themselves in his/her head. This phrase only will make the child feel as if they are lacking something in order to be good enough for themselves.
“Big boys/ girls do not get scared”
Fear is an emotion which reminds people to be more careful. So, if you tell your child that “big boys/ girls do not get scared” the child will try to suppress the fear and that will teach him/her to run away from the thing that scares them.
“I do everything for you”
Well, as children they expect you to do everything for them. You are responsible for them and should be able to provide for them. They are under your protection and guidance, not the other way round. You could foster a sense of responsibility in them but don’t expect them to become your right hand so soon.
“You’re fat/dark/ugly etc.”
Whatever or however your children are, ultimately they are your reflection.
It’s not their fault if they are dark or have more moles than other children. If your child is fat then they probably know it as chances are that they already suffer from name-calling/bullying at school or playgrounds.
Psychologists explain that this phrase will teach the child not to face the fear or problem in later life. Parents should tell their children that it is completely okay to be scared and also they should encourage children to do the right thing whenever they are scared of something.
Source: http://organicplanner.info, naturalhealthyteam.com